FTANNNN

Zai Jian

2010-11-14T05:22:00.000-08:00

I moved to tumblr alrd. Si Blogger very annoying, stupid codings i dont knw hw to fix. Make me headache and dont wnt to blog. But blogging is essential so this is nono. So byebye blogger. I'll keep this here for keepsake.
So, so long, farewell.

Ec!

2010-11-12T19:26:00.001-08:00

No wonder what my friends say, I still think my ec best (Y)

2010-11-12T05:40:00.000-08:00

I need so much more courage.

No, not again, FTAN, not again.

I was actuallly so happpy just now.

MY GAGAS AND MY FRIENDS LOVELOVE

Ok, i can still be happy naooooo/

But then i came home and my mom started her nonsense.

One day, ill grow up, and not have to tolerate with all these bullshit anymore.

One day, just wait.

TIll then, stay strong ftan.

2010-11-11T03:59:00.000-08:00

"A girl and a guy are riding down the road:
Girl: were speeding over 100.. SLOW DOWN! Im scared.
Guy: no this is fun.
Girl: no its not. please slow down, its scary.
Guy: do you love me?
Girl: yes of corse! since day one.
Guy: then tell me you love me…
Girl: i love you, now slow down
Guy: now give me a big hug.
**girl hugs him**
Guy: can you take off my helmet and you put it on? its bugging me.
*** in the paper the next day an article said that a motorcyycle crashed into a buliding because of break failure.
and that two people where on it but only one survived.
** halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks had broke, but he didnt want to scare the girl.
so… he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it ment that he would die…"

I read this and cried.

imma happy girl

2010-11-11T03:28:00.000-08:00

I just want to be happy, really.

OP is on mond, and then PW will be overrrrr. & then our results will also be out.
Whether or not theres sub depends on mond.
Whether or not ill promote also depends on mond.
Ok, technically, it doesnt depends on mond, my fate is alrd sealed.
It might not be that bad of a thing to take sub anyw. Cause it actually means i need to study.
& i do need to study. Chem sucks big time. I wonder so hard why i chose it then.
But then again, i wonder if i could cope with another heavy art subj.
Geog is one big load. I think imma die during A's, same goes for econs.
Im blabbering alot. This happens when i dont think and just type.
So this means im not thinking now.

Im watching flashforward now. And did i mention? Im verrrrrrrrrrrry tired.
I feel mentally drained, tho these few days have beeen rather lax.
Arghhhhhhh, i need to start studying sooon.
My dream wish now is to promote, clear A's and go to an U. Pleaseeeeeee. This has to cme true.

And also, wahlaoeh, i think im thinking too much of yknw-what-yknw-what.
I shldnt fall in. I fell in once and im not ready to have another bruise
HAHAH, the earlier bruise was a joke.
Srsly, how did i manage that man.
Cant stand myself.
And i dont want to say this same thing in future.

On a lighter note, school's been fun! Cause of GAGAs!
Altho they always hook hands with me and leave me moaning and sajiao-ing behind, I still LOVE them!

Bride wars

2010-11-08T05:53:00.001-08:00

I remember when I was a very small girl. I attended weddings with my parents and went like "I want to get married like that too" and I nvr knew the implications these perfect weddings incurred.

Tmrw's schoool schoool schoool

2010-11-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

HAHHAHA THATS INCEPTION. FUNNY MAX RIGHT.
Im gonna go out soooon, with my gran. Wah, i'd been stuck at home the whole of ystd and i think im going crazy. BUT i'd watched flash forward and ep 8 of vamp diaries. So niceeeeee! The bliss of good shows. Tsk now whats short is good books. When is the last book of vamp academy ever gonna come out. Im dying here without reading good books, cause it means boring bus rides and train rides.

Anyw, i miss GAGAs. Its only been 3 days since i last saw them in sch? HAHA, random much but i was lying on my bed just now. & i thought of smth we were laughing at that day. LOL, and then i laughed to myself. & realised it was stupid and that i look forward to seeing them tmrw. Please let all of us promote together. I need this kind of friends to encourage me for school and A's next year. & GAGAs, WE NEEDA GO OUT SOOOOON.

I wna go out have fun lei. This weekend kinda sian. Except for fri where guowei taught me to play pool. Did i mention, im going to learn poool? HAHAHHA, imma gonna be a fat pro ok! Dont kan bu qi, fattttties!

2010-11-05T06:18:00.001-07:00

Shsugdushshshshsjwhejetmd.

2010-10-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

I just typed out one whole chunk published and deleted it.
I feel horrible now.
But yknw what, you are not gonna ruin me forever. Whatever you do is not gonna haunt me forever.
Im gonna wake up tmrw happy and fresh.
Takes more than even you to bring me down.

2010-10-29T03:41:00.000-07:00

SERIOUS LOH. If he's my teacher, ill pay fulllll attention every sec of the class.

Im waiting for gossip girl to load. I like my life now. Like so slack only. Go school play, come home slack, weekends go out. HAHA, tell me what could be better. Dont have right. Nyaha.

Wah sian, i damn scared. All your fault fatty, hatechu.

Oh yah, mt on mond. Wah sian, today my compo very lousy marks. Wts, MT really depend on luck one. Can i have very good luck this coming mond pleaseeeeee.

I just woke up 1 hr ago and i still am in sleep mode. Shit, i need to laugh now so that i can go back to normal mode. But i dont have my friends here to make me laugh. Only my brother that keeps suan-ing me. Qian da only loh he! LOL, nvm, this means i wont feel bored at home, cause got qianda people for me to shoot back. HAHA.

Distractions

2010-10-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

Im very wary. I dont know exactly why. Something in me just fails to trust. No, im not referring to my friends. I trust my close friends very much. Its these people. Maybe its because i know they are close. Im afraid of opening up. Im sorry but i have to protect myself sometimes.

Im supposed to be doing I&R. But there are too many distractions; msn, facebook, gossip, and now blogging. Idk why i feel like i havent blogged for a long time.

Anyw, ystd was my pop's bday. Gave him a mini surprise. HAH. Today's my elder bro bday. I kinda feel guilty. But i cant get over what he did and is doing, so im sorry. Coming sat, im gonna bring my gran and my sis to orchard for buffet. I wna bring my gran to explore this world, this, i promise.

Now, please let me have the determination to finish my I&R. Pleaseeeeeeee.

Time heals

2010-10-24T02:49:00.000-07:00

Time Heals Everything
All it takes is time. When someone says, “I’ll never ever be able to get over him/her”, that is absolutely false. In time, you will learn to let go and move on. Accept whatever happened to you, take it as a positive experience, and use it to start a new chapter in life. That’s part of transition. Don’t ever say you can’t or never will because that just means you’re not even trying.
A new beginning will unfold and some of the greatest happenings in life will result from big changes like this. So stop sulking over what can’t be changed or dwell on the past because that will only hold you back. Take a deep breath, say goodbye to history, and move on forward. That’s the secret to happiness

Think happy. Be happy. Never look back. Memories, pretty or ugly, are memories.
I didnt go out today cause my aunt's coming! I miss her. I didnt see her for a long time, with promos and all that shit. Yaye, catch up later today and i feel happy. And i like today's weather. Maybe because im at home the whole day, under shelter (no annoying sun, no smelly sweat) , i feel so peaceful. I like to feel peaceful. It makes me .. well peaceful.
Im gonna do I&R! NOW.

2010-10-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

NICE RIGHT NICE RIGHT THT DRESS. HAH I BOUGHT IT 5 DAYS AGO, OR LONGER. OK I DONT RMBR.

Actually going msia de loh today. Then i wake up whoa drama mama again, thn nvr go. :(

I watched Vamp Diaries EP6! I TELL YOU ITS THE MOST SJDFJASBFJAS EPISODE. ELENA BROKE UP WITH STEFAN. WTS ALL KATHERINE DOING, I CRY SO HARD YKNW I WATCH THT PART. WTS. WTH. SADFJBJSFBJASB. I WNA SEE THEM KILL KATHERINE. NEXT THURS COME QUICK.

Anyw i just painted my nails YELLOW bwahahahah, im a happy girl now.

I JUST FINISHED WR/ AND IM GONNA GO SLEEP NOW. GOODNIGHT PEOPLE.

2010-10-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

Srsly, she'd do anything for you, once, not now, not anymore. You'd your chance, you blew it.

Went to AMKhub to watch life as we know it w GAGAs. It's a verrrry nice and funny movie! LOL, sitting beside YT only made everything funny funnier. Anyw, altho i watched a nice movie and spent quality time with GAGAs, i felt angry and upset. TSK i hate bastards i hate bitches. Why cant people just be thankful for what they have and not go around finding new people or breaking up sweet couples?! & No, im not refering to myself. Somemore, cmon, boy, look in the mirror pls. Be thankful you dont scare people out of their skin even in the daytime. Srsly, you dont have what it takes to be a playboy manz. One day, you'll get played and thrown. Dont go crying back to girl then. You dont deserve her, especially a girl of those qualities. You blew your fat chance. Cant stand this kinda stupid people, feel like puking.

Ok, and the movie really reminded me of the past. On the way home, i contemplated taking the old route. But i decided against it. Im over that stage and i dont need to go through all that again. Nothing between us ever mattered, nothing was true. it was just a stupid game in your eyes. & i was stupid to believe any part of tht game.

Anyw, today was the first day of PW and MT intensive. Was rather slack leh, except for MT duh. The freaking passage was like jbfjsbdjbfasudfuawe. I have to read one word and skip like 5 sentences. Ok, maybe not that exaggerating, but wahlao srsly very hard, i can go bang wall.

2010-10-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

^^^^^^ We took these photos on the last day of our papers! Went to sing k and went to orchard for some impromptu shoppinggggggg! FUN DAY SPENT WITH GAGAS!

Anyw im sooo tired now. I just had dinner, fyi, its 11:30! somemore tht is lunch plus dinner cos i didnt feel hungry in the afternoon! Nyway just went for job interview with lique for some event facilitator thingy. The job sounds like alot of fun yknw! yahaahahahhah! now im gonna earn money. & then shopping and fun, here i comeeeeeeeee~ wahahaha, im excited at the thought of having fun working and having fun having fun. BAHAHAHAHAHA. ANYW I NEED TO SLEEEP EARLY SO IM GONNA SLEEP EARLY TONIGHT! TOMORROW WILL BE A BRAND NEW GOOOOOOD DAY MANSZSZSZSZSZS! LOVE YOU PEOPLE NIGHTS!

Svhshsjwgwksgwjv

2010-10-21T07:48:00.001-07:00

Damn loser. I forgot where I stayed and got off at the bus stop of my previous flat.

2010-10-15T10:32:00.001-07:00

I think it's the impact of what happened. I changed so much I barely recognize myself anymore. Now the qns is, how did I ever let you change me. I hope I can get my old self back. It takes more than you to take away who I am.

Anyw gossip girl is amazing.

2010-10-12T06:24:00.000-07:00

BO GEI!

Had econs today! Yaye, 1 paper dowwwwwwwn! I really feel like i finished exams alrd. Tsktsk. ANYWAY I JUST WATCHED GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 4 EP 1. YAH SLOW I KNW. But i didnt knw where to watch mah. Then when i saw it on tom365, Wahahahahaha. Its gooooood yknw! If i dont hve geog and chem and math papers coming up, i tell you, i'll finish all 4 eps at one go, like now. but i cant. Cause i have a sad life and neeeeeed to go study now. Tsktsk. Nevermind just 3 more days! & Karaoke on sat!!! & then maybe ill study for one more day and im freeeeeee! (dont remind me of mt and pw intensive) YAYEEEEEE! EXAMS GNA BE OVER REAL QUICK YOOOOOOO!

2010-10-10T08:23:00.000-07:00

my hair like dead grass like that.

whah, i damn pekcek today. idk why. tsk, maybe its thinking abt the past and getting angry over my own stupidity. Tsk, i have myself to blame for falling. Not that im ridding the other party of the guilt. and also, the fact that today WASNT productive. i so angry with myself knw. tsk, im gna isolate myself tmrw. just one more week ftan, hang on, one more week, 5 more days.

Happpppppy

2010-10-08T06:59:00.001-07:00

I don't knw why I feel sooooo happy today! Like frm morning I wake up until now! Yah even now!!

I like to make my friends happy bcos in the process I get verrrrry happy!

Ok I'm gna go study Chem now!!

2010-10-07T07:22:00.001-07:00

I don't want to be compared. Because all of us are special in our own way. Comparison isn't fair.

I think alot. I think I think too much. Nyway I'm hungry and tired now. Thank gooooodness I'm rching home. Am going back to school tmrw to study! Time shld continue to pass quickly so tht promos can end quickly and I can go have fun.

-.-

2010-10-06T08:08:00.001-07:00

I'm so so so so tired. Whah I think i can sleep for one month to make up for all this fatigue. BUT although I'm tired I'm very happy tdy! I think it's just time spent w gagas! Fun and nice and happy!! ;D celebrated tinas bday 2 days ago!! Yaye happy bday Tina! Love you!! Nyway I'm gna study hard k! We all must study hard kk! Lovelove! Till then, hail me the great!

2010-10-01T09:04:00.000-07:00

SORRY. I LOVE YELLOW NAILS TOO MUCH.

K. HELLO.

I officially started my engines for promos alrd. Today will be the last day i touch this laptop. Actually i said tht ystd also, but its ok. I need to destress today. Nyway, today was kinda mooooooody. Idk why. Just got that, shit i feel down, feeling. Sian. >:( But ok, maybe it's lucky also, cause i saw my ec twice. Thats like lucky shit cause some days i dont even see him at all.

I'm gonna study more. I promise. Booook me after exams k people. We go out partaye & have lotsa funnnnn! :D

HAPPPPPY BDAY YASMIN! :D LOVE YOU!

):

2010-09-27T06:56:00.001-07:00

Haunting. Hurting.

2010-09-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA. THIS IS SO COOL.
Yah, we all lie alot. LOL. not good not good at all.

Yellow nails are prettty max!
If only ms lim dont catch, i can like let my nails stay. I LIKE IT YELLOW, even if its short.

Anyw, today was my sister's bday! Went to celebrate at new park hotel. WTS. i ate until i so fulll. But the food nice! I like! YAYE, then after that we went to sing K. HAHA, so long since i sung K with family. & i think the last time i went with them, i was still singing twinkle twinkle little star! LOL. Hahaa, anyw, i had lots of fun eating singing and laughing. I wna go sing with them more often and i wna learn all the hokkien songs. My parents so coool, they can sing in hokkien! OMG, just wait man, one day, i'll do the same!

HAHAHA. PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY I HAVE WEIRD TASTE.
Actually i think they re right. Tsk, but cant help it lea.
Anyw, wah, quite a disappointment sial. Which proves not to judge a book by its cover. LOL, nevermind. Heng i never expected either. That proves, no expectations equals to no disappointment. LOL, and im sure ppl will complain less about donald!

OK. IM SUPER TIRED. IM GNA GO SLEEP. NIGHTS PEOPLE!

>:(

2010-09-22T16:09:00.001-07:00

Maybe I'm also angry with myself

2010-09-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

goood day!
today is a happpy day!
i wanted to go study but idk how to do!
i need ask for help.
yaye. i feel happy ooh lala.

i like this stage.
the little things tht make me happy.
lets things stay ok!

2010-09-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

YAYE 2 papers down.

& LOL today was happpppy. (: (: (:

HAHA. but i think im still scared idk of wht. so ill just keep my hopes low.
That always work.
& I wna go rest so tmrw i can study!

2010-09-16T21:54:00.001-07:00

Yaye gp is overrrrrrr! Like half an hr more till mt starts. Kinda sian I no mood study I wna slp. Mt also no use. But my sleeping deity hvnt cme find me.

Tsk I'm so stupid. Had been so stupid, for so long. I imagined wht we had as wht happened on tv, those wonderful pretty nicenice scenarios. Lol wts it was nth like tht. I feel sore. I rly rly feel sore. Like I spent so many months being stupid crying over stupid shit. I don't like. Wts those were my youth years how can I have been so stupid manzszsz. Tsk! Jshdjsjwbdhsghwshdbvsjd

Ok wish me luck for cheena.

2 more days, 3 more weeks

2010-09-15T06:33:00.001-07:00

2 more days till it starts 3 more weeks till it ends. Yaye thn we can go play play play! Haha tdy was fate day for lique! And idk why but my fate's been getting better recently also! Lol let tht be my daily bompbomp bompbomp. Nyway I'm going to rch hme soon and thn I'm gna do geog tut and thn go eat smth and thn go sleep! Yaye I'm gg to study hard ok! Hello cc let's be best friends, I'll visit you everyday, I promise! Hello my friends let's all study hard ok! Thn you will earn the prize of being able to have fun w me yo!! ;D

2010-09-14T06:16:00.001-07:00

I think I know myself. I get emotional very easily. Lol thts why I'm not gna let my barriers down this time. Hah but still happy like shiatz. I like today whee-oh-whee!

2010-09-12T04:43:00.000-07:00

I think i cant breathe

Promos are coming so fast. General Paper is this friday. I dont want to flunk any subj this time. I wna pass all at least. I have expectations and this is why i have to work hard.

I dont know if i've ever mentioned this before. I dont like the way people in yjc act. Idk, it's not like all of them act this way. But still, it's the majority. Maybe in the world outside, this is how people behave. Maybe i need to get used to this. Also, this has served a good motivation for me, for exams for myself.

Today was NOT productive at all. Sianz. Ok, i go do maths and chem tmrw. Now i go do EOM.

PEOPLE, PLEASE HANG ON. I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND WE MUST ALL PROMOTE TGT OK.
Ps. By friends, i mean friends.

Tired maxxxxxx!

2010-09-11T07:08:00.001-07:00

I feeeeel so drained, I feeeeeel like I hvnt slept forever. Didn't wnt to go cc today but I received this sms frm yuchao and decided to go make my own day. Lol. In the end, it did! Haha ok now I'm gna go home and sleep. Please bus go faster.

Nostalgic

2010-09-10T11:30:00.001-07:00

Yaye I bought spirit bound! I nearly jumped for joy when I saw it at pop today! Anyw it's like 230 now. The book was so good I cldnt put it down. Frm wht I knw, after this book, there would be another last one, the last sacrifice. Omg I can't wait. And at the same time, I don't wnt the series to end. ):

Ok anyw today was productive and lucky! I finished econs and I saw alien!! Lique didn't get to see micheal but I saw alien! It was like the least of wht I expected. And somemore I saw him at yishun! Tht is the hugest surprise, considering he didn't stay anywhere near. I wna be friends and friends manzszszszsz.

Anyw I had a long talk w gw just now. It felt good to talk to a good friend like tht. Which did make me think of the phase of events tht happened btw us. I missed classroom 3e4 times with him, he just reminded me tht I slapped him everyday. I'm glad I made a friend like tht. A best guy friend is wht I need many a time. In a way he understands me like noone could and alw does appear just whn I'm upset. I thank him for tht. I knw he won't flirt w me and he knw I won't fall for him. I guess this is wht kept our friendship going. Eh boy, pls hor, don't retain, go study for ur maths!!

Ok now I'm gna sleep.
Oh and on a last note, I definitely don't like how others are looking at me. No, it doesn't affect me like bfore anymore. I figured I deserve smth more. And you were definitely nvr once worth anything for me. Despite all the times we ve been thru, none of it was real. Everything was a mistake right frm the start. I knw I said things like I won't regret and all tht bulls. But they are bullshit. I do regret now tht I stand clear. Given a chance, I won't take tht same path again. I mean it.

2010-09-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

I got this from tumblr. I think the author can write very well. As in her language very nice. Also, what she said makes sense. It's always this story being replayed in all corners of the world.

He broke up with you, right? After telling you he loved you and calling you pet names like baby and cutie? Yeah, I know he lavished you in compliments, only to put himself down so you would stroke his fake low ego. Did he tell you that you were beautiful? I bet he promised you a personalized song. Or maybe he’d always mention how he was lying in bed and wished you were there. He dragged “I love you” out of you, didn’t he? Yeah, don’t deny it. He would talk to you last thing at night and first thing in the morning. He constantly mentioned losing sleep over you, every night, but we both know he slept like a rock. He made you love pictures that were just sort of “bleh” before. Did you delete those pictures after he broke your heart? Yeah, me too. All of your friends hate him now, don’t they? Remember how happy they were for you? They warned you. Just remember, it’s okay to cry. And referring to him as “asshole” is perfectly expected. Because, trust me, you’ll end up talking about him just as often, if not more, than before the break up. There will be the “one time”s and the “I remember”s, and once you think you’re over him, watch out. You better keep your eyes closed in the hallways, because I promise you, the next time you see him, he’ll be all over some other girl. A little part of you will want to warn her, but nobody will blame you for hating her and for blaming her for your pain. Yeah, you’ll compare all guys to him, because aside from the man-whorish, heart-breaker thing, he was perfect. He was everything you had ever wanted. Or maybe you made that up. Maybe, the second he started to show interest, you made up this perfect guy in your head, and he just happened to be just like him. Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you just like everybody says you will, and it will be soon. Okay, so I didn’t believe it either, but I’m starting to.The most important thing though is don’t let him know he hurt you. Don’t let him know he could have you back in a heartbeat. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Make him think you’re completely happy. When he decides to wave at you like nothing ever happened, wave back, sure. But don’t smile. Make him think he meant as little to you, as you obviously meant to him.

2010-09-09T06:56:00.000-07:00

SEE. MY HAIR GOT THT NATURAL CURL. ok. actually tht was from tying and untying my hair. Then, got that mark, so look like curl. & my face is so round. OMG. i feel like a pig.

Anyw, i woke up today morn and felt like happppy. Idk for wht. Its been way too long since i woke up with something to look fwd to, to smile at, to feel happy about. Thank you yo!

OMG, you can swim in my eyebags manzszzzszs, they are soooo deep. ok, thts not the pt.

Anyw, i caught up with angelique today! I miss talking to her yo! Seems to be ages since i last talked to her or even saw her. But today was really fun and nice and warm talking to her. I like i like. Not to forget fangirling. Omg, today is like soooo lucky, i saw like sooooo many cute/handsome guys, i can melt. & i stalked, okay not stalked, i only went their fb ONCE, my eyecandies & they sooooo cute.

BE HAPPY PEOPLE. THAT IS THE KEY TO LIFE.

EVEN IF EVERYTHING GOES AGAINST YOU, JUST SMILE AND LET IT BRING ITSELF ON YO!

WE ARE ALL BORN TO BE WHO ARE, SO I'LL BE PROUD OF MYSELF AND SMILE AND BE HAPPY AND BRING JOY TO THE PEOPLE ARND ME, HOPEFULLY. LOL.

its beeeeeen long heyyo. finallllllly, buaiz manzszszsz. this is final. i sumpah!

2010-09-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

We went to chompchompm and frolick to celebrate chinxian's bday! I dont hve the grp photo with me so i cant upload. Winston and Chinxian(obviously) was there too! It was fun and warm and nice! i like! GAGAS FTW!!!!

OK, IM GOING TO STUDY TMRW.

& thanks for giving me renewed hope! (:

2010-09-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

LOOOK! I WAS SUCHA CUTIE RIGHT./ GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED ALONG THE WAY.

Anyw, i had alooooot of fun today. We went to astons to celebrate tprs bday and we talked and laughed like alot!!! HAHA, thn we went to starbucks to play and talk and laugh! I REALLY VERY HAPPY. OK.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TPR! I WISH YOU TO BE HAPPY!

Anyw, i went to watch step up in the morn again! So nice, tho i watched it for the second time, still SO NICE, better than 1 and 2 loh, xiaoyin! Im glad that my siblings liked it toooo! & then, i brought my gran to pepper lunch for some seafood madness thingy! I am glad she liked it tooo!

& i like my outfit today! realllly! I nvr wear that pants and top for a looooong time, and im so glad i saw it today and wore it! & i bought like 2 pretty dresses online today! & i heard frm tpr tht spirit bound is out long ago alrd. TSK I HATE THE NORTH AREA, FOREVER SO SLOW ON GOOD BOOKS.

BUT ITS OK. THE CONCLUSION IS IM A HAPPY GIRL TODAY.

GEOG LECTURE, AND STUDY & CHOMPCHOMP WITH GAGAs TMRW. YAYE, I THINK IM ALSO GONNA BE A HAPPY GIRL TMRW. THE HOLIDAYS JUST KEEEEEP GOING GOOOD. I'M LOVING IT. UHUH UHUH.

2010-09-07T01:47:00.001-07:00

Contained.

2010-09-06T08:26:00.000-07:00

Aftershock was touching. AWWW. i wna bring my granny go watch but she not free. LOL, and i didnt get to watch step up again tdy cos i overslept. LOLOL. nvm, tmrw. & tmrw night gg to dinner. ok, this is just a quick post so i can go sleep soon so i dont oversleep again. and yaye, tmrw dinner w band clique. maybe i spend my afternn studying after step up. aiyah see got time not. maybe i bring my ama go out eat. aiyah see how. tmrw zai jiang. and wts, i just realised my skin smth wrong. i shld go change right. but wts i no time. i hvnt study until these few days. ok, really no time. i gna need to study, i dont wna retain. but thn aiyah. really no time. ok, i shld go sleep and stop wasting time. nights.

2010-09-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

gossip girl is coming back!!

i just came back frm jiale's bday chalet. HAHA, seems like years since i went to downtown. Anyw, uncle had free tickets, so we went to WWW. Wts loh, last time i went WWW, i saw nickjonas-lookalikes, and many cute/handsome boys. Today, its like only 1 pathetic one. WTS right. Anyw, i tried allll the rides today for the sake of my lil bro. Yes, i know im a verrrrry good sister. & i think we wasted the tickets cos we like only entered at 4, and the place closes at 7.

Im sooooo tired. I really wanted to sleep yknw. But i just cant get to sleeep. I think i have insomnia. I shld go and see a doctor. Okay, and tmrw morn, im gna bring my siblings go watch step up! and in the afternn, im gg watch aftershock! Actually i watch step up alrd. IT WAS VERY NICE!! But xiaoyin say step up 1 & 2 was better, so i went to watch. I finished 1 and 2 is still loading now. I thought 3 is better than 1 lea. Ok, nvm, maybe i just liked the leads in step up 3. So anyw. im watching step up agaaain tmrw.

I felt kinda sad today. Ok, im srsly tired.

2010-09-05T06:01:00.003-07:00

Crap.

2010-09-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

yknw what, you will never knw, never understand
i dont feel like seeing you anytime soon

2010-09-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

These are some of the pictures i gotten alrd.

First few was to hafiz's concert with cangy and ruijing.

Then the other 2 was to amanda's house to sleeeeep and talk and blaaaah.

It was funnnnn.

Even though these meet ups were brief, i reaaaaally enjoyed myself.

I can never feel this way with any other ppl.

I guess its because of the things we went thru in ytwo tgt.

I love them ok, and im looking fwd to tues dinner. ALOT.

Anyw, today was Yjc's band concert.

Okay, i screwed up quite alot.

Argh, but ok, we've gotta move on.

& thanks hafiz lihwei yingjie joel yiliang for cming! :D

2010-09-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA, SO FUNNY RIGHT. IDK WHY JARRON THEY ALL CALL YUCHAO JUSTIN BIEBER./ BUT HAHAHA, THIS IS SO FUNNY.

Went to eat laksa and dessert today aft schl! Dont ask me why but it was funnn. I like time spent w them, happpy, we laugh we HTH talk we laugh somemore. HAHA, oh yah we gossip alot also.

PS. YUDING I HOPE YOU HAD FUN TOOOOO!

After reading the very nice book, i went to watch the show.

Srsly, this show/book is amazing. I think my tears can fill up one bucket.

YT, your taste buang lah.

& Tina and YT says aftershock is nice and verrrrrry touching.

So, me and xy, we re gonna go watch and bring like one box of tissue!

2010-09-01T07:33:00.001-07:00

I'm sad again.

BUT I WILL BE STRONG!
Cause I'm ftan!
& because I have faith tht things will turn arnd soon.

Tdy was productive I did chem tut! But I forgot there was econs! Nvm there's break tmrw!

2010-08-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

THIS WAS LIKE SOOOO LONG AGO. I THINK I WAS IN SEC 2. OKAY AND MY FACE WAS JUST AS ROUND.

Anyw, ystd night was melancholic. But its alright, cause today morn i woke up and felt happpppy. Okay, i shld go do chem tutorial and not disappoint or lie to mr chung anymore. Mr chung is a very cute teacher who resembles humpty dumpty, and he gives his all in teaching us chemistry. He is like the chemistry version of Mr Wee.

I miss Mr Wee and all the teachers in ytss. Sorrrrry i didnt get to go back ystd. We'll find time to go back! :) & yah ah, I dont really like YJ but i like the teachers there. They re alllll very nice. Or rather, all the nice teachers coincidentally became my subj teachers.

Okay, i shall go bathe and go cc and start doing chem tut!

GO FTAN!

2010-08-31T06:09:00.000-07:00

I went out w this awesome bunch of people. Plus minus some people luh
There was cangy pinrong pearl boon fiz asrul and lih wei!
WE DID TAKE PICTURES.
but its w hafiz and asrul!

We didnt do like super amazing super fun things
We just went to amanda's hse and sleep plus talk plus take pictures/
But it was fun, i enjoyed myself.
& i reaaaaally miss them.
ITS ALRIGHT, ILL SEE THEM REAAAAAAAAL SOOOON!
LOVE YOU PEOPLE. I MEAN IT.
BTW. I finished this book tdy.
It is a nice book, very nice. Out of my normal vampire-werewolves genre. But its nice/
Even tho it was romance, it isnt like filled with sex and tht kind of stuff.
It was just genuine love, simple and really pure.
& there were alot of parts where i reread and reread. Cause, they were sweet and yah, make me think, in a good way.

"It wasn't that long, and it certainly wasn't the kind of kiss you see in movies these days, but it was wonderful in its own way, and all i can remember about the moment is that when our lips first touched, i knew the memory would last forever."

This is like only one of the super nice parts. It will take forever for me to type them all down. But i guess, to really understand the meaning behind the story, you have to read the book. Srsly, go read it. In a way i think after reading the book, my perception of everything changed.

Yes tho i began to doubt. Doubt everything i'd been through. I wonder if any part was truely true. Because every part of it seemed as wonderful as that described in the story. I guess deep in, all i really want, is for that part to at least be real. Or maybe its just that i couldnt accept it if any of it was fake. But if it was true, how did things get to the way they are now? I srsly dont knw. & i wish i had an answer. Not just to this, but to everything esle. Idk, just the answer might not change anything, but maybe ill feel better if i knew the reason/s behind it. Or maybe, im thinking too much again, there might not be any reasons. Of course, it made me realise, okay, realise might be the wrong word (I sort of knew this all along), maybe this was the better path to take. & if the better path hurts so much, i cant imagine hw much worse the worse one could be. I dont dare to proclaim that i no longer have any feelings. I guess its just that i dont dare to. One thing for sure, its fading. I dont even knw if i want it to go away quick or not. Somehow yes, somehow no. Another thing im certain of is that, there can be no future whatever it is. I cant trust as much and also, it was too awful an experience i dont think i can go thru any of it again. True, the happy part was sweet and memorable. But whether its worth all these pain, i really do not know. At least, im on my way now. & i reaaaaaally hope i dont make any wrong choices from here onwards.

So true right. At least, in my scenario, the other party isnt sick and dying. Compared to that, i'd rather this.
IM SORRRY GAGA!
I didnt mean to be psk today!
seriously! Im sorrrry!

2010-08-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

Srsly ok! Wts, leadership is not like that. Im not a leader myself. But at least i ve seen true leaders to know that leaders are not like that. Everything also last min, snjdfdfsdbfasj ok!
Somemore one of you is NOT even a leader. Cmon lah, cut the crap. Let me have a chance, have a go at enjoying music FOR ONCE.
Shiatz you people. i sdjnbjsdbfjbsdfbasjbikjasdb.

Ok, you cross tired, angry, hungry, pekcek with ftan you'll get PMS.
Im not having menses now. But i feel like i have sdfbjbsdfbasj PMS.
Im freaking pekcek.
& wts, shit you boy, dont mess w my sistaa.

OK CHILL AND GO SLEEP.

2010-08-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

Went thru my pictures just now.

Melancholic. I miss band clique. Alot.
We all are making an effort to keep our friendship going. Its not easy since we are all in different schools. & I really think that tho we may not be able to see each other every day, our friendship will still stay strong. I mean yah, we might run out of topics to talk when we are out, but yknw the feeling, that even tho you have nth to talk abt, you still knw that you are the best of friends. I love you people. alot. alot. alot.

YTWO IS SOMETHING THAT CAN NEVER BE REPLACED.
& I CAN NEVER FORGET.
CAUSE I MAKE AWESOME FRIENDS LIKE YOUALL THERE.

Which brings me to another point.
In jc right, i dont try to make friends with people anymore. I also dont know why. Maybe its because im contented with my friends alrd. Im contented with GAGAs and my friends from yt. Im scared that if i make any more close friends, ill lose my current friends. I treasure them too much. Okay, this might sound stupid and dumb, but yah, thats what i think.

On a brighter note, IM BATMAN!

Day 3- Your Parents

2010-08-29T01:39:00.000-07:00

Dear parents,

Yknw i might now have the best family as compared to my friends. Our family does have alot of drama going on all the time. BUT, im still happy to have you as my mom, as my dad. Thanks for giving birth to me, thanks for trying to keep this family tgt. Things might seem bad sometimes, but they will turn around always. I have faith in my mom, my dad, my gran, my siblings, myself, and everybody. I love my parents!

Love, feliciatan.

2010-08-29T01:28:00.000-07:00

HAHA. FUNNY.
NO. I DONT HAVE A BAD VOICE. I JUST FOUND THIS FUNNY!

YAYE! I FINISH EOM. BUT THE BAD NEWS IS I DONT FEEL DOING ANY MORE HOMEWORK.
OK. LETS DO A CHECKLIST.

ECONS
-ESSAY
~~GEOG~~
-~~POP TUT 2~~
CHEM
-ALOT OF TUTORIALS
MATHS
-8.1 8.2
PW
-~~EOM~~

ok. good job ftan. you re done procrastinating and finished EOM. you deserve a break now. BREAK APROVED. byebye studying. Ill see you on weds/thurs!

2010-08-28T22:00:00.001-07:00

I shld stop procrastinating.
On weds, i said i will do eom.
On thurs, i said i will do eom.
On frid, i said i will do eom.
Ystd, i said i will do eom.
& now, i say I WILL DO EOM.

Omg, weird & bad dream ystd.
Nevermind they say dreams are the exact opposite of reality right.
Hope its true.

Yes, Hogwarts, please.

2010-08-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

OK. 3 OUT OF 5.

Im gna die alrd. & the worst thing is i feel stress bcos i hvnt been doing revision.

Ok. im gna start TMRW.

Yeah, you dont.

Day 2- Your Crush

2010-08-26T06:26:00.000-07:00

Day 2- Your crush

Dear crush,
You re my eyecandy in schl. I smile every time i see you cause you re always so dreamy. Even though my friends call you alien, i think you are very cute. & i really hope you are as nice as i think you to be. I hope we will get a random chance to talk soon. I believe, i have faith. (oh pls dsjfbhsbdfhbabasdhbasdhikj let me talk to him)
Love, feliciatan.

I hope this friendship goes on. & i dont want to think too much.

Im closer with xiaoyin nowadays. Maybe because of tina and yt at YOG. Sorta shared alot of stuff and i like to talk to her, altho she everytime dont understand you, dont catch your words. LOL. love ya xiaoyin!
Im so friggin tired! & i still have friggin econs essay to do.
WTS, okay, to think on the bright side, EOM deadline extend to mon!
YAYE! THANK YOU MRS GUNA!
I feel like taking a breather.

Angry tired, tirgry!

2010-08-24T08:11:00.001-07:00

Wts! I quite angry now. Whgdusbddkdb I swear I not creating chance to talk to you can. Walaoeh why you like tht. Friends much. Please lah. Tsk, like abit self obsessed ok! Qianda! Gsjbdjshdhd!

2010-08-24T05:03:00.000-07:00

Actuallly i do feel guilty for going late for school, or not going sometimes.
Sorrry ms lim, but sometimes really so tired, even i go schl also cant concentrate right.

YAYE HI-5! CHEM SPA OVERR!
Okay, now, ftan on your engine alright!
Promos coming!

& i had alot of fun at schl tdy w GAGAs today.
So fun, i like time spent with them.
Cause they make me happppppy!

GAGAs! WE HAVETA PROMOTE TGT OKAY.
IF NOT I WILL EMO NEXT YEAR WITHOUT ALL THESE FUN!

Now, im going to do my eom!
Before thaat, let me continue my letter to muaiz best friend!

Dear best friend,
I know we have drifted apart. But I know our love for each other still stays! Aww! We have once been so close loh! & i knw we are still close at heart now! I rmbr last time we always sing chipmunk songs together. Thats why we are each other's chipmunk! "christmas christmas dont be late~!" I love you! I rmbr when i first heard you play your frenchhorn solo or smth, i told myself "OMG, she sound so nice, okay, i wna be friends with her!" LOL, then i think we got close during some intensive band pracs or smth. Im so glad i know you yknw. You have a straightforward character and i like! You will tell people straight when you dont like them, i like! Then then, i also love you because i like to talk to you! You very nice to share troubles with! & to gossip with! We need to go out more okay! We need to catch up more! I treasure our friendship alot & i rly miss good ol' times with you! I love you, best friend, i really do!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
It was only in L1B4 did i got close with you right? You sat beside me and you always go GAGA over Mr Emmanuel Teo! Then we always crap and laugh alot during his lessons. But hey, we did listen okay! I rmbr i always share my troubles and happy news with you! & you always give me good advice! & then, i rmbr got one thing, something happened on your side, and you came crying to me. Much as i dont want you upset, i feel very touched. Like awww, you came to find me! Because tht time, we werent very close yet. As in i didnt know i had such a stand in your heart. Aww. I love you too! Then in band, during the last few months, changed sitting position ah, then i sit beside you! TRUE BLISS OKAY! You dont know the joy of having someone sway with you while playing. Okay, even if someone sways with you, you will only experience this true bliss whn its the correct person! I miss playing in band with you and gossiping with you! We must catch up also too okay! I love you, really i do!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I think i really got to know you thru pinrong! And i got close with you during eng lessons, L1B3! We always laugh at jarron tgt, and laugh at erwin tgt, and laugh at rj tgt. HAHA, maybe i also laugh at you with them sometimes! & i miss you to go "mama, love-of-my-life so hot!" LOL, anyw, im glad, real glad i came to know you. You bring joy to people yknw! I rmbr during the stressful intensive, every recess, or almost every, i will go the corridor find you and pr and cangy, then we will always gossip laugh talk! And we always end with the MILKSHAKE, PEARL! Also, thru the english lessons, we shared quite some deep stuffs with each other. & im glad i got close to you! I like you because you always make an effort to come out with us even if your parents object! I rmbr the last time we met was bimb's concert! I miss you pearl!!!! We must come out again okay! Okay, this sept! I miss times with you and band clique! I love you best friend, i reallly do!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I know i always scold you say you niao say you lohsoh say you alot stuff, but you knw right, i dont mean it. Kay lah kay lah, you are a very nice friend, truthfully hor! I rmbr you tell me you used to hate me cause liting & ansar always depict us as a couple! LOL, that was totally random! Im glad ive known you for five years and still counting. I think it was thru suxian that i went to recess-es with you! Then we began talking and then we got close in band as well. Memorable much eh. Okay lah, tho i rly cant stand you sometimes, i know you re a true friend who spares a thought for all of us whenever and ever! Thank you ah! & right, i really dont mean what i always say hor. Okay, may our friendship go a long way and bff okay! Lets work hard for promos tgt and promote and have more fun and go uni and be happppppy! i love you best friend i really do!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I really have nooooo idea how i got close with you. I dont knw hw it all started loh! I only rmbr bqt and singtel after O's! I think, during bqt stuff, we also never really talk leh. But like suddenly, you were helping me for singtel! I think it was really during the singtel period; got alot time slack mah, then we always HTH talk and then play TAPTAP REVENGE. LOL, those were the times. Then, you went thru the hard decision making process, and in the end, came to YJ! Thank you ah friend, for being a true friend! We always go study together! So, you re my consistent study-mate! & you very selfless i knw! Continue being a nice gentleman okay! See, i so good right. I think also thru you, i got to know junze better! Continue studying hard, and being a pro in vball okay! We must all study hard promote and have fun next yr! & i really want our friendship to last! Ohya, i everytime say you ah dai, actually NOT THAT dai lah. LOL, i love you best friend i really do!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I rmbr we used to be quite close that period aft O's. Then some internal conflict and we distant-ed. Everyone have their strengths and faults. & im sorry for judging you based on your faults that time. But i really know that you are a true friend. You offered me great advice when i was at the most down period of my life (i think). Although your advices revolve around "dont think alrd lah" "get over it" "not worth it", i know what you meant and i know you really care. Thank you for being there with me when i needed a friend. You re a nice guy srsly! I hope our friendship now will go a long way as well! Thank you for everything! I love you best friend, i really do!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
Like what i said, it was only thru yuchao did i know you. You really very nice. I think you and yuchao can be classified under no. 1 gentleman. I rmbr that time pulau ubin, you very nice. I know i damn loser in cycling, and i always barge into bushes and all the wrong places. & i get hopelessly hopeless in slopes. Thank you knw. That time i so touched whn you cycled back to chck and saved me frm dying in that horrible slope. I really hope you and her will get tgt. You two are the perfect couple leh. She so pretty, you okay lah, so can match! & i have fun with you and yuchao, fangirling and fanboying, tho both your tastes rather cui. Anyw, thanks for a true nice gentleman friend! Keep this friendship going yo! Invite me to your wedding next time! But for now, lets study hard, promote tgt and have more fun with the study clique!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I really dont knw you for a long time. But its enough time to know that you are a good guy, a worthy friend. Thanks for being nice to us, for being nice to bully, for being a fun person to be around. & no, we are not going to changi hospital anytime soon. Wait till my fear for ghosts go away first! With this short time i ve known you, we ve had alot of fun! Lets continue to have this fun okay! Now, lets study hard and promote tgt first hor! I love you best friend!
Love, feliciatan.

GAGAs.
I havent known youall for a long time. But i love youall alot alrd. My love for youall vaster than the sea, greater than the sky and what uh. oh, i can go into the volcano and can go catch stars in the sky for youall!

Dear best friend,
Thank okay! You always accompany me go places far far away for koi, for hongkong dessert, for curry puff, for chicken wings, for mos nuggets, and this thurs, nice BBQ food! You have a character ive really never seen before leh! You like abit cool cool, abit funny funny, abit cute cute, abit smart smart, abit sense sense, abit weird weird, and abit of everything. But you are a fun person to be around. & you always wait for me after classes and all that so sweet! I love you alot best friend, and we must promote tgt okay! RMBR IM GOING TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID! & YOUR BFF!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
Yknw you always live in your own world one? Like forever you dont knw what we talking about, or dont know where we going. But its alright, we love you the way you are and because you are so fun to laugh at! Okay, that wasnt really true. Truth is, i feel very comfy talking to you sharing my troubles with you. Even tho i knw you might not understand what im feeling sometimes, you still try very hard to be there for me, to encourage me, to make me happy. Actually i look at you, i will laugh and be happy alrd. You are a nice friend, and i really hope you will last long long with W okay! I love you alot best friend, we must promote tgt okay! STUDY HARD! RMBR IM GOING TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID AND YOUR BFF!
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
Drama queen of the clique. You always make us laugh like crazy one loh. Your stupid funny actions and your drama facial expressions. You are a fun person to be around, and like the rest, i can always share my troubles with you. I think i will forever label you as guo tiao loh. See you i think of guo tiao only. Thank you for being there for me aww. In China right, we didnt knw ea other this well then, then you like always wait for me, talk to me, make me feel loved make me feel happy. & you always help us shoot back all the dumb people who say us. And you knw your mind turn very fast so you can think of very witty things to shoot them back. Continue being cheerful and influence us all okay! STUDY HARD AND WE PROMOTE TGT! I love you best friend! AND IM GOING TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID AND BFF!
Love, feliciatan.

Think i said this before, i never thought i would make such marvellous awesome friends in JC. The three of you are love okay! Youall make school fun in a way i never knew school could be! Love youall like trucklorryloads!

2010-08-23T07:13:00.001-07:00

I cnt help what I'm feeling

2010-08-22T19:10:00.001-07:00

"I think fetching her when it's raining and holding an umbrella for her is very sweet'

Too bad it's gone. Sometimes, I find it a pity. But then again, anyone that will make me cry is not worth my tears.

Anyw, I didn't go to schl tdy. I slept too late last night I guess and had a headache this morn. okay I'm better now but my bed tooooooo comfy, maybe I'll go for econs laterrrr. Okay back to sleep now, buaiz!

Day 1- Your best friend

2010-08-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

Before i start on the letter writing challenge thing,

i just heard this on disney channel! Damn funny!
"Im hungry and angry! IM HANGRY!"
WTS SO FUNNY.

OKAY HERE WE GO. LETTER TO A BEST FRIEND.

I dont have a best friend.
I have many best friends.
I think im so lucky cause i have many amazing friends!

Dear best friend,
I ve known you since i first entered yt. You re my first best friend in life. I love you cause we laugh and roll on the stairs of sembawang's campus. We spend marvellous time together and were both part of this awesome group, we once named 4piggys. You re the first friend i was ever so frank to. We would set everything straight on the table, and spill whtever grudges & unhappiness we have with each other. This is why our quarrels never did last. It's amazing how we still have so much to talk about when we went out after like not talking for one year. It's even more amazing how we stayed this close even when we dont go to the same cls, and now, not even the same schl. &, i think you re the only best friend i have out of band. I love you, best friend, i really do.
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I rmbr my first impression of you and ftoh was "ah lian only loh". Then in sec 2, we suddenly got close, together with fareha. We even formed this thing, the 3somes. From then on, our friendship blossomed and blossomed. Until now, we are best friends that know each other inside out. You only need to wink your eye and i know you re going to shake you butt. LOLOL. First in band, then in class. I think you re probably the person who knows me best. Throughout our friendship, we have faced many many odds. BUT we always managed to overcome them. I love you for everything you have done for me, and the fact that you are always there for me. I rmbr one of the main reasons why i transferred to yj from tpj was cos of you. Aww. But i was really scared that i would lose this awesome friend, this wonderful friendship. Even though we are in different classes now, we are still so so so close. I love you because you always understood my situation. I knw, at times, i can be soooo unreasonable that i cant stand myself also. Thank you for tolerating my shit always, and still am forever beside me. I love you, i really do.
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
Think you once told me that you didnt have a good imp of me. Cos when you waved to me the first time in sec 1, i ignored you. LOL. In the end, it was the sec 2 leadership trng period whn we got to know each other. I think we skipped the part on friends, and went on to best friends alrd. The first time we talked was in squad. You stood beside me, and we kept ranting nonsense and giggling. That was memorable. But then again, every moment spent with you was memorable. Then, we became best friends in band. & you were always there for me when i was upset & needed someone. I do not knw if i was always there for you as well. I think it was also through you i made awesome friends like cangy, boon, and pearl. You sorta opened me up, and changed me into someone i nvr thought i was. Then, you, me, cangy, and rj got really close and suddenly we are the tipton-ers. I know, that thruout our friendship, i made mistakes. Some, so huge i think is inforgiveable. Im really sorry i once neglected you and cangy cos of a guy. If i could turn time back, i would never make that same mistake again. After what happened, our friendship never really felt the same as before. I dont knw why. But one thing for sure, i know, that i still regard you as my best friend. Cause i spent and i knw that you are a very great and awesome friend. Even though we are in different schools now, i really hope that we will stay in contact and stay friends forever. I love you, best friend, i really do.
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I dont knw why and how we got this close. But im really grateful we got close in the end. You are a crazy girl. But crazy in a good way. You have this kinda influence on people to make them happy. & i rmbr we always do online shopping last time, and we always gave each other wonderful opinions. I think you re the only best friend i have that is younger than me. Even though you re younger, i really think you re alot more mature than me. You give me great advices whenever i need them. You are also always always always there for me. I rmbr the few times i was so sad and i just went to find you. Even though you re busy, you will still put away your stuff and be by my side. I love you for that. I love you for being there for me although we havent talked for a long time. We are both busy with our studies now. You, with o lvls, and me, with promos. We really need to catch up more and go out more. Likewise, im also very apologetic, like how im to pr. You had told me that i ve neglected youall that time. & really, thank you for being able to understand me. But whatever it was, i was at fault and im very sorry. I love you for being a crazy and true friend. I love you, i really do.
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
Its really amazing you knw. Like during this short span of time we know each other, you became my best friend. We never really talked in sec 4. It was only after the O's, during the holidays did we really got this close. I dont even knw why and how i asked you to come work at bqt with me. But in the end, we got really close thru bqt. You understood me in a way noone could. Because we went thru the same thing. I will never ever forget the dramatic moments we spent tgt. Like srsly, the wipe cup scene was the most epic one. During the long and slack-ful hours in holiday inn, we spent alot of time tgt, talking and talking. We shared our most intimate secrets and spurred, encouraged each other on. Then school started, and we still managed to keep in contact. I still see you so often now. & i still spend so many awesome time with you, together with the rest of the clique. I really hope you will find your true one soon. Cause i swear you deserve so much better than that bastard. Thanks for always being there for me, and always giving me wonderful advices. I love you, best friend, i really do.
Love, feliciatan.

Dear best friend,
I only came to know you well in yj, in band. I rmbr my first imp of you was, senior-scary-fierce-stayaway. LOL. but now, its totally different okay. True, the guys in the clique are very indecisive and we always get so pekcek trying to find a place to go to, we still always manage to have so much fun. And im surprised i will get this close with you. I share deep stuff of mine with you and feel better inside. This is what friends are about right? Being there to lend a ear and let the other feel better. I hope you will get many more luck and have more opportunities with your ec and maybe also him. You deserve a great guy and i know you will find one. You re a wonderful friend who is true and trustworthy. Im really glad i joined yjc band. Or not, i would not have made such a wonderful friendship. I hope we will spend more marvellous time together. But first, we have to study and clear promos first okay! I love you, best friend, i really do.
Love, feliciatan.

Okay, this is like only half of the people i wna write to.
I will continue writing to the rest soon.

Im glad i made these awesome best friends. & i really hope every single one of these friendships last.

2010-08-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

THIS IS SO FUNNY RIGHT. GOT IT FROM YASMIN'S BLOG. LOL.

Anyw, i went to study today.
Okay, quite productive.
I did geog tut. and abit of chem!
& i read GP!
NOT BAD NOT BAD!

I wna continue working studying! GO FTAN!

Im looking fwd to after-promos days.
I have alot of things i wna dooooooo!

2010-08-21T22:45:00.001-07:00

Stop holding me back

2010-08-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

IM GOING TO DO THIS. STARTING FROM TMRW.
30 day letter challenge
WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

2010-08-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

This makes me wonder.
What i thought was love might not have been love afterall.

2010-08-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

Just came back from darian's band concert.
Went there with jolyn. Kinda surprising. I expected the atmosphere to be awkward. But it turned out to be ookay leh. Not bad not bad. Haha, as usual, we gossiped and fangirled. Caught up on quite alot of stuff. Yaye! & saw danfeng, siongwei and people there.

Went to tampines library in the afternoon w Yasmin. Rather productive leh today, did chem bonding and gas law tutorial. Not bad not bad. Let me start on chem energetics tmrw. & also do geog homework. Cmon ftan, promos coming!

I wna change my blogskin! wts am sick of this alrd. i shld go find one now.

Ps. i read a very touching note on fb just now. so touching knw, i cried. I post it laterrrr. after i chnge blogskin.

CYA!

Sleepy

2010-08-20T18:57:00.001-07:00

I'm on my way to tampines to find Yasmin alrd. I got a bad bad feeling that I'm gna be late. Sorrrrrry Yasmin!

What's past is over. There's nothing we can do to salvage any part of what happened. What mattered don't matter anymore. Right now, what's left is smth I'll hold on forever. The beautiful memories. Beautiful.

I like to think. It makes me smarter calmer nicer sensible and often, right.

2010-08-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

I FEEL HAPPY AND CALM NOW.
It feels good to sit here cutting tickets with Itunes on shuffle.

I feel happy today.
For some strange reason even i dont know.

Tomorrow's gna be a long day.
& i shld go sleep soon.

& PEOPLE COME BUY TICKETS FROM US.
COME TO OUR BAND CONCERT.
THE BAND MIGHT NOT BE MARVELLOUS,
BUT THE PLAYERS, ESP ME YUDING SUXIAN AND JARRON, ARE!

GNIGHT.

2010-08-19T02:49:00.000-07:00

SO CUTE RIGHT. I KNOW.

PROMOS ARE COMING SO FAST.

I felt the bompbomp bompbomp in my heart when the tchers told us the tested topics and paper format.

Im not ready yet. Oh my shit, i need more time.

Okay, im going to study like real this time. Starting from sat!

My dearest darlings. Must study hard okay. We must all promote tgt. I wna have more fun with youall!

I MISS AND NEED MY WEEKLY DOSE OF SPICE.

AND THIS TOOOOOO!

So true right.

2010-08-17T22:59:00.001-07:00

If only you are here.

2010-08-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

THIS IS SO NICE RIGHT. I KNOW.

I LIKE CRAZY CAM WHICH I DL-ED A FEW WEEKS BFORE.

I rmbr Yinhang once told me. That taking pictures of yourself is not zilian.

But it is to remind yourself of how you look like in future.

& to see the changes in your appearance.

Friends are marvellous creatures.

They are the one who stand by you when all esle fails.

Sometimes i think, guy friends are very very valuable friends.

Guys can be sensitive and nice and caring and manymore.

Yknw there are some guys who you can be very close w, who you can share your darkest secrets to.

Because you know you can trust them.

& in such friends, you knw you can only and always be friends w them.

But it doesnt matter.

Cause that is all you need from them.

I treasure my guy friends.

& i love them not in a way lovers love lovers.

But in a i-love-you-best-guy-friend kind of love.

I thank guanyinma for dear guy friends arnd me, people like yuchao kiancheow ruijing alvin jarron guowei and manymany more.

Of course, i wont forget about my girl friends.

I love love them alot okaaaay.

I love them in a i-love-my-girl-friend-so-much-i-can-die kind of love.

So, i also thank guanyinma for dear girl friends, people like yinhang, suxian, lique, yuding, pr, cangy, xiaoyin, tina, yueting, phyllis, jasmine, and manymany more.

I treasure appreciate love every single friend of mine. Really. Srsly.

Okay, ystd's dream had me crying at 2am in the morn.

I guess it was that last sentence you said in the dream.

Srsly, i even think that that might be true.

Which is very saddening.

Also, it got me thinking of how long it have been.

& made me reflect on alot of things.

Sometimes, when you get real tired, you just have to put your feet down, close your eyes, and force it to go.

Seriously, come to think of it, i have been coping rather well.

Despite of what im telling myself all the time.

This is a good sign.

& i shld just let it diminish.

Scale of diminishing returns.

That diminish word reminds me of econs.

I must be crazy.

Love isnt possession.

2010-08-17T05:27:00.001-07:00

Okay another dream ystd. This is weirder and sadder than the previous one. Orhkay! I shall elaborate w a proper post whn I get home. Now I'm just bored frm the bus ride home. );
Buaiz. Hail the great!

2010-08-15T08:52:00.001-07:00

It's 12 and I'm not in sleep mode yet.

2010-08-15T01:36:00.000-07:00

I NEED MY SHOPPING!
BUT I NO MONEY AND NO TIME.
>;(
you'll never know

YAYE IM DONE WITH PW.
& OUR WR SO PRETTTY!
YAYE YAYE.

OH SHIT I HVNT DO HMWK DUE TMRW.
I was supposed to go out and study tdy!
But i started doing pw and got lazy.
Okay, imma do my hmwk after i go sunplaza to print the pretty WR.

2010-08-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

Caught up with CANGY today!
Was supposed to go find her and study!
LOL, but we ended up talking, cooking mee, and laughing at rj when rj came.

Then we went to surprise bimb!
I didnt even have a formal wear. Had to wear cangy's pyjamas!
HAHA. Pictures are w cangy. (She'll prolly take a year to upload them)
AWESOME TIME SPENT with them.
HAHA, rj made me laugh like shiatz on the way home.
"If the cars on the road were human, they would throw eggs at you"
LOLOL.

I MISS BAND CLIQUE SO MUCH!
I MISS LAUGHING WITH THEM LAUGHING AT THEM!
WTS! I NEED TO SEE THEM SOOON!

I SAW THIS VERY CUTE TODDLER ON THE TRN JUST NOW!
SHE SMILED AT ME THRUOUT THE RIDE.
AND WHEN SHE LOOKED AT RJ, SHE ROLLED HER EYES.
4 TIMES CONSECUTIVE!
HAHA, CONCLUSION?
BABY LIKES ME, LIKES MY FACE, LIKES ME!
AND I LIKE HERRRRR!
SHE SO CUTE!
IM GOING TO GIVE BIRTH TO A SOCCER TEAM IN FUTURE.
okay, i might need to consider that again.

THIS IS THE UP TIME OF MY LIFE NOW.
idk why i said that. I just feel that way.
BETTER BE TRUE!
imma gonna do my hmwk tmrw.
FTAN, pls coooooperate!
GOOD GIRL!

2010-08-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

When i wake up in the early morning, there's a tune that keeps rolling around in my head.
Okay, actually i didnt wake up early.
But i slept late.
That evens out right?!

My gran is cooking yum food! I like i like!
Im gg to find zack soooooon! Miss her much much!
I need to study need to study need to study!

I want a polariod!
So cool. So nice. My bro was telling me that day
"zeh, we dont take pictures alrd leh"
Ernoh, thats why i need a polariod!
Its a need! Not a want.
Okay, my aim? Getta polariod by the end of this year!
If you are my friend, you'll make me save!

So, let go

2010-08-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

I had this very real dream ystd.
Srsly the dream was very real. & in the dream, i was verrry happy.
I hvnt felt what i felt ystd night for a long time.
I was so happy i could die.
Somemore its so real i think i can just live in that dream and not wake up

But dreams are dreams.
I woke up eventually and realised its a dream
I wanted so much to go back to sleep and find it back.
Sadly, i couldnt.
Even this afternoon, i tried to sleep to get back to tht dream.
But I couldnt.

I think i really feel sad.
Because what happened in that dream will never happen in reality again.
Because what i feel and felt doesnt matter anymore.
Because all is history now and whatever we do wont make any difference
那时我们都回不去的从前

Whatever it is, whatever it was, i have to be happy now.
I cant live in the past.

Today's band prac felt the closest to that of ytwo's
I could be enthu for yj band if every band prac is like that. No joke.

& i saw my super number 1 very handsome eyecandy on weds.
I nearly melted. But being me, i pretended nth happened and just walked straight.
But trust me, inside, i was maddddddddd happy.
Okay, i need to stop stalking his facebook.

Im so tired nowadays.
When i found out that i failed chem ystd, i so sad knw.
I very nearly got so demoralised i wna stop school.
I feeel drained. I dont wna study. I wna play play play.
I wna feel my youth, I wna feel my life.

OKAY JUST WAIT AND SEE YOU STUPID WORLD THAT IS CRUSHING ON ME.
I'LL PROVE YOU WRONG AND LIVE MY LIFE GOOD.
BEFORE THAT, I WILL STUDY FOR MY PROMOS FIRST.
AFTER THAT IM GNA PLAY LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!

Ndp

2010-08-09T18:37:00.001-07:00

On my way home from Angelique's hse now. There weren't alot of people ystd but it was rather fun. Haha yuchao Shawn and junze put on makeup! Baha. So funny!

Happy national day!
I love s'pore!

I need to get used to this.
I need to face up with reality.

2010-08-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

WTS. I VERY PEKCEK TODAY. SO MOODY ALSO.
SOMEMORE MY STUPID FINGERS MAKE DAO MY STUPID FACE GOT SCAR.
WTS. WHOSE FAULT.
ALL HER FAULT.
DONT KNW WHT I DID WRONG IN MY PAST LIFE TO DESERVE THIS.
WTS WTS WTS

OKAY I SHLD BE HAPPY.
IM FTAN.

2010-08-05T03:32:00.000-07:00

MY FIRST EVER FIRE DRILL IN YJ!

Haha, i thought jc wont have fire drills luh.

But kinda boring, we couldnt even hear what the tchers were saying

They were under the shade, we were under the sun!

Welfare much.

ANYYYYYYYWAY, my sistaaaa bought me the very pweeeeetty necklace for 40$!

So expensive right. But its sooooo nice/

Exquisite! :D I like i like.

SO SO MUCH.

Yaye, im loved. i feel the love, feel the love, feel the love.

Thank you MEI-LER-NY

WTS College day tmrw.

I wanted go back yt de leh.

SIAN SIAN SIAN.

2010-08-01T06:33:00.001-07:00

Just went out with my sistaaaaa.
but rather fruitful trip!
Bought necklaces and koi and chicken wings!

OMG I ATE 3 CHICKEN WINGS TODAY
MY FACE GNA GET ROUNDER!

Actually my sistaa very pretty loh.
Tsk, but she so camera shy, dont wnt take phtos.
Somemore dont wna 打扮.
Her features so nice, got natural blush also.
Sian, my mom so unfair.
Im gna build up her confidence manszszszsz.
Screw her friends who bully her.
I make sure she beat youall in every single way.
My sistaaa leh, also dare bully.
没死过.

I just bought fwely nice necklaces for me and maaaa.

To maaa:
LEE SU XIAN, ME LOVELOVE YOU!
Ps, i angry with you tht day. Aiyah i just felt very paiseh, thn somehow got very pekcek also.
Sianz, but hey, our friendship can withstand alllll storms yo!
BAHA, me lovelove you forever! YAYE/
:D Lets study hard, graduate tgt, and be each other's 知己 forever!

You are one amazing person.
Thank you for everything.
I really treasure every mmry we had. (;

2010-07-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

I guessed i was just sad because i didnt feel sad
I dont wna forget. but i have to, right.

I AM going to study today.
Goood girl me, better make good of my promise.

Geog and chem test on wed.
Oral p tmrw.
MOVIE PARTY ON WED
NATIONAL DAY CELEB ON FRI
MOVIE MARATHON ON SAT!

yaye! see, i hve much more reasonsssssss to be happy

2010-07-31T06:22:00.000-07:00

Im so scared of forgetting what happened.
It seemed so long ago.
Truth is, i dont wna let go.

Spilled everything on the other blog.
Im on the verge of breaking down again

2010-07-29T05:35:00.001-07:00

Should have known better.

I FOUND MY EZLINK! OOH-LA-LA~
THANK YOU GV, I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOUR SEATS ARE OLD DIRTY & UNCOMFORTABLE. I WILL PATRONIZE YOU EVEN IF YOUR AIRCON IS HOT AND YOUR SCREEN IS SMALL. YAYE, LOVE YA!

Okay, lessons is uber boring nowadays.

I cant concentrate.

NO MANZSZSZSZ, i need to study! So many tests coming up!

& shit i hvnt even do cop tutorial due tmrw.

WTS. I need a break manzszszszszsz/

& Wlaoeh, family drama just now again. I think people would pay to watch my family luh

Everytime so drama, and alw target me. WTS

Nevermind, this means i have to go out and study more.

Yes, i need to study.

SHIT YOU FTAN, GO STUDY.

It just comes and goes, comes and goes.

I dont know when these'll end, or if it'll ever end.

I always think back and feel sorry.

For the thing i ve done as well as the things i ve not.

All i can do is apologise deeply and maybe cry abit.

But at the end of the day, i have to stand strong and move on.

That is what life is about.

You dont live in memories, you move ahead with life.

These are all part and parcels of life.

& I cry only because that part is over.

But it's alright cause i believe things are gna be ooookay, alllllright in the end. (;

TSK SHIT YOU EZLINK

2010-07-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

OMG I JUST LOST MY EZLINK AGAIN. I FEEL LIKE JSDBFYUGAWSUGFDUSYUACFUSDBCYHUSVBDCHUSDVCHUBSDHVCB
HSDVBHCSDBVHBYHUDCBYHUSDCBHUSDBCHUSDCHUSDCBUSDBCHU
SDBHBSDBCYHUSDBFHSDBFVKJSDBKVBJSDNKBVKNMSDBGIJBWERUI
OGIWEHGFBASEKIHSDUIHASUFHUASFHUIASFHIASDBFHSDBIAUFSD
NOT ENOUGH
DSFIASBDSUIARGBFCNORWE8UCT7BWENR7TBWEV87RWE87RT87WET
YRF87SDGYFGSDHFBSKJDBVKJSDFUIHDUIFHUISDGBJSDBNFKJVWNE
JOPIRYWEUIGHFJKSDNMCNSFKLDFHJISDUHAVJKBDSAKJVNASDJGFB
SDIJBFVKJGASDBIJFVAIFJSDFHSDUIFBISDHFUJHSDHIUASFIUASFIU

Okay, much better now. Anyw, watched despicable me today w tintintin!
Wasnt much funny but very touching.
AWWWW I CRIED.

OKAY ANYW THERES THIS SPORTS WHTEVER THING IN YJ TMRW.
& THE THING IS WE STILL HAVE TO ATTEND LESSONS.
WTS RIGHT. YJC YOU GOOD. >:(

OMG ANYW THE SCHOOL'S MEE TAI MAK IS DAMN GOOD, WITH CHILLI.
OMG SHIOK BEST. ME LOVELOVE.

BY THE WAY LOVELOVE IS THE NEW WORD NOWSZSZSZSZSZ!
THANKS TO THE BIMBO OF THE CLASS.

OKAY, I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND GO FIND MY NOTES.

OKAY IM GNA DO SMTH REALLY SWEEEEET NOW.
THIS REPRESENTS GAGAS!
GAGAS I LOVE YOU!
TODAY I THOUGHT, OMG, IM GNA WAKE UP ONE DAY, GRADUATED FRM YJC AND MISSING THESE DAYS.
I APPRECIATE EVERY CRAZY STUPID WEIRD FUNNY MOMENT WITH YOU PEOPLE.
BAHA, XIAOYIN BETTER ASK YOUR HIM TO FULFILL OUR GAGA BASIC RULE NUMBER 1!

OHYAH! YKNW AMK GOT NICE FOOOD!
THE CURRY PUFF, AND KOI!
BY THE WAY OLD CHANG KEE'S CHICKEN WINGS ARE LOVELOVE ALSO!

BAHA, I FEEL HAPPY BUT I HAVE TO BE SAD COS I LOST MY EZLINK!

2010-07-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

Im tired of the wait.
But then again, im tired of trying too.

2010-07-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

It’s okay. It’s okay to want someone you can’t have. It’s okay to want something more. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt, and it’s okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, it’s always going to be okay. That’s just how it works. Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to, and most of the time, it seems like they never will. But eventually, everything is going to iron out some way or another. You just have to believe, keep your faith, and move on.

2010-07-24T06:54:00.000-07:00

HAHA, i just dl-ed the macbooth thing for windows.

& tht is what happens when boredom strikes. ^

& Ding jie came just now.
HE SO CUTE.
At first he so dao, dont want let me carry.
HAHA but in the end i also got to carry him!
BAHA. Anyw, had a nice talk w my aunt. I like to talk to her. I like i like.

Okay, so im gna go pray tmrw morn.

NOTE: I BETTER FINISH MY HMWK.

2010-07-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

I feel so much better now.

I actually typed one long chunk and i hsdcfbhsbdhabsh pressed the off button on my laptop.
I must have still been sleepwalking.

Okay,

I went to watch blood pledge ystd
Very touching & could have been scary but the ppl in the cinema spoiled the mood
I feel so mature when i compare myself w them
Tina very funny, halfway thru she ohshitohshit, in monotone
Had gastric after band, wts so pain, nvr gna skip my meal again
MA & YUDING so nice, i like i like.
Went hme w rj
Miss ytwo
Felt sad ystd cos of djsdbj again
Should be stronger.

Okay, tht summarises things. BUAIZ.

you hurt, alot

2010-07-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

I really very sad now. ):

2010-07-22T07:08:00.001-07:00

Every movie we see, every story we’re told, implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending, we don’t learn how to read the signs: how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this… knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope. Don't ever give up hope.

2010-07-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is holding me together.

I feel kinda moody now.
Just spent like half an hr getting this skin done.
The previous skin too small fonts, i dont like.

Walked arnd the track with xiaoyin just now.
Somehow, it felt nice to talk. just talk.
It's a wonder how i can make these great friends in YJ.
& it is really heartwarming to know that you have these people arnd you when all esle fails

No matter how i try to convince myself, there is still this bugging heartache.

Mentally drained

2010-07-22T00:51:00.001-07:00

All the more I shld let go and not hold you back frm your happiness. Which you deserve.
I shldnt be selfish.

It's alrd July omg.

2010-07-21T09:15:00.001-07:00

I'm so tired. Listening compre today was manageable. Thank goodness but my oral, shit much.

I'm way behind my studies. I'm like 5 chapter behind my chem tutorials. And I haven't been touching geog econs and maths. Except for tht econs essay tht we had to hand in tdy. I kind of feel guilty. I shld be studying right, this is why I'm in a jc. Everytime I tell myself I must study, it all turns out to bcme empty promises. I'm so sick of telling myself I must study.

But I don't wnt study. I also don't wna work. I kinda miss Ytss life, cos there was ytwo to take my stress away. I so miss ytwo.

On a brighter note, I feel kind of happy these few days. Things should keep to the status quo. I enjoy gossiping and catching up with old friends. Alot.

2010-07-17T09:03:00.001-07:00

12:01 am now! I shld go slp!

I very happy tdy! Dingjie came he so cute & we went walk walk.
I very happy ystd! Inception! Seoul garden! Talk talk gossip gossip cuteguy cuteshow!
I wnt to be happy like tht everyday. But I get so tired whn I'm too happy. Like now I rly wna slp alrd.

Gnight world! Shit I shld save money!

2010-07-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

GOOD MORNING EARTH.

I feel so lazy i dont feel like going out.
Anyw ystd was funny ahahaa, went arnd to schl pretending to be drug-free ambassadors.
LOL.

Anyw, this time round, blocks was shitz manzszszzszsz.
Only got back mt and math.
But the worst ones are those tht i hvnt got back.
Like chem, i cfm fail, only the 3 powers pass in the whole cls. wts.
& Econs like only 4 miracles passed.
&& Geog, dont need say, i cmi.

I shld go pack my cupboard now.
So messy knw. Like my rm earthquake like tht.
Earthquake occurs when a critical point is reached and energy is sent out as seismic waves.
Or whatever shit.
Srsly, dont take geog, it kills.

This is like only what i have of pulau ubin photos.
Angelique hvnt upload the rest lea.
I was kind of loser-ish there.
HAHA, like lian2 lei4 everyone.
LOL, but nevermind i got coool friends.
And yah, THANK YOU JZ, LIFE SAVIOR.
If it had not been for him, today will be my funeral alrd.

So nice right this picture.
My phone wallpaper leh.
Guys who can piano guitar are very handsome okay, got charisma.
But pls, have to see nei han. Not like --.
Tsk why i think of him, need to wash my mind.

Till then, hail the great!

2010-07-03T08:12:00.000-07:00

The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

2010-07-03T06:16:00.000-07:00

BE HAPPY!

Yaye, exams are overrrrr!
BUAHAHAHAA! I almost feel like how i felt after the O's!
HAHAA, anyw, went to watch ip man ystd. NICENICE!

It's painful, i cant deny.
But, given a chance, ill make the same mistake. Because it's worth it.

DINGJIE SO CUTE RIGHT! BUAHAHAA
But he's bigger now.
Cuter! :D HAHA, he's my cousin!

And Jiale also!
He also very cute.
That day he cme thn keep jie jie jie jie, make me so happpppy!
Buhahahaha.

They are joy oookay!

And pulau ubin tmrw, pls be fun orhkay!

2010-06-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

BE HAPPY, i really wrote on my hand everyday.

Its 1255am and i just woke up to study chem bond and intermolecular forces.

I feel so guilty i like forget everything mr chung say during tutorial.

Like tht tme after he tch, i was like ooh ooh. and still so happy i understood.

Now/ dsjfnjskafbjasbjfbasjfbasj, i hate my stupid brain.

Talking about stupidity im rly stupid.

I know manymany people ve beeen telling me that

I dont knw whether to be happy or upset.

But i think the latter proved otherwise.

Somehow this beginning really meant the end/

& i dont want it to end, even this utter misery

But i dont have a choice anymore.

2010-06-30T09:35:00.001-07:00

No I'll stand strong

2010-06-29T03:09:00.001-07:00

I can't concentrate my mind keep drifting. Today is the 29th. I really wonder.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going arnd this maze. When I almost am getting out, I find out that it was just yet another trick. When can I ever get out? I'm awfully drained. I always think, if only. But to think again, if only means it's no longer possible.